What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
