He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
