what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it glows. i had to have it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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