Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
