On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
