im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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