Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i drank out of a bidet.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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