I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
