Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
