I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
