Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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