I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
