I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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