well I can't set my house on fire every night
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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