i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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