bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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