New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
