What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
