That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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