I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
