I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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