I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
