i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize