It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
