I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
