We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
