...so i touched it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
