Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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