Non-Jews are for practice
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
