so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
