You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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