no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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