Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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