I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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