dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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