it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
