y did u give ur computer a hand job?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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