What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
