yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
