Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Everyone says I win the strip club
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
