Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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