There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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