i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Barsexuality is the new black.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
