Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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