Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
