I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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