First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
