Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
