Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
