your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
