so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Small penises have feelings too.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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