I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i already hear my dad disowning me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
