I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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