Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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